SVO


 * Subject Verb Object **

__ The Actor
 * = **// AGENT //** || **// ACTION //** || **// OUTCOME //** ||

__  || __ What the actor does or is __ || __ Goal and / or result __
 * human
 * non- human animate
 * inanimate
 *  active voice verbs
 *  proposition
 * target of action
 *  result of action
 *  new information about agent ||

Sentences are SVO units Paragraphs are scripts composed of SVO units. Every sentence in a paragraph should indicate its position in the script. The first sentence should clearly establish the script. Each sentence that follows should have some overt link to the sentence preceding it.

//Sample memo revisions//: this sample memo, as the date indicates, is from one of my ENGL 317 classes last fall. The assignment was somewhat different from the one for this winter, but the revisions illustrate how you should work on draft material for your first assignment.


 * text in blue is from the original draft**


 * text in black is the revised version**

//comments on the revision in italics//

TO: Proximity Media Team FROM: SUBJECT: RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FALL FOCUS GROUP DATE: September 23, 2008

TO: Proximity Music team

SUBJECT: Fall focus group recommendations


 * //address memo to specific team//

Last week we decided to each brainstorm recommendations regarding the topic of on demand music/ radio. This memo will summarize the always rising statistics, consider current problems, and recommend focus group topics. Last week we agreed to recommend topics for our on-demand music fall focus group sessions. In this memo I discuss the impact of new music technologies and recommend that we use our focus groups to determine how portable music players have changed the way TU students listen to broadcast radio.


 * //cut out wordy phrasings such as "regarding the topic of"//
 * //forecast sentence revised to state clearly the key recommendation//

In the past few years there have been numerous studies conducted over this highly rising technology. We are focusing on the age group of 18-25 year olds for this study. Two years ago only 34% of these owned a device. Compared to the 2008 figures, it has nearly tripled. There is not only the idea of portable on demand music, there is also satellite radio. Within the past five years the percentage of awareness about these electronics has nearly doubled. They are declaring this a “must have” for teens.
 * Rising Technology **


 * The new music consumer**


 * New technologies have radically changed how listeners consume music. Local broadcast radio is no longer the sole source for hearing new music. Listeners can now select from a world-wide network of Internet and satellite radio channels. More importantly, users can download individual songs and podcasts from these new sources to relatively cheap, portable MP3 players. In 2006, only 34% of the 18-24 demographic owned a portable player. By 2008, ownership of MP3 players had tripled.**


 * //topic heading revised to indicate specific issue discussed in ¶//
 * //first sentence revised to establish specific scenario with technology as the agent//
 * //transition markers inserted to develop scenario when the agent/action paradigm shifts in 3rd sentence - listeners are now the agent.//

With more and more people podcasting and using portable music players what will happen to our AM/FM radio? In studies between this year and last year it only showed 3 minutes less listening to AM/FM radio when they participate in radio platforms. HD radio has not showed an increasing interest over the past through years and will not be a threat to our good old AM/FM radio within the coming years.
 * More and more **
 * Broadcast radio responds**

The broadcast industry claims that the new music technologies have not reduced the time Americans spend listening to radio. They also promote HD (high definition) radio as the answer to the threat posed by the new music channels and the increasing use of MP3 players in cars. According to surveys, however, 18-25 years olds no longer use radio as a primary source for new music and remain indifferent to HD radio.


 * //revised topic heading establishes broadcast radio as agent//
 * //parenthetical explanation for first mention of HD//
 * //"however" transition in last ¶ marks agent/action shift//

I recommend that we ask Towson students if they have an ipod or portable music player and along with that find out the reason that they do or don’t. We also should ask how often they listen to the AM/FM radio and digital streaming. All this should be done based on approximate hours.
 * Recommendations **

We can broaden ideas and further speak of these topics at our next meeting.


 * Focus group topics**

I recommend we use our focus groups to find out how the new technologies have changed the way TU students listen to radio. We should determine if students:


 * Have access to satellite or HD radio
 * Regularly listen to a local broadcast station
 * Use MP3 players in their cars rather than listen to radio

Answers to these questions will allow our clients to decide whether broadcast radio advertising still reaches the 18- 25 demographic.


 * //opening recommendation sentence states specific issue//
 * //bullet list used to pull out three specific questions//
 * //closing sentence clearly states rationale//